November 12, 2013

Holy crap I can't believe how much has happened this past week.. it has been a tornado. For real.

We had the most amazing zone conference with Elder Marcus B. Nash, a member of the First Quorum of the Seventy. INCREDIBLE!! It was much needed and I felt/learned so much. He was an amazing teacher and truly allowed the Spirit to speak through him to teach all of us and to answer many questions and concerns we had. I think my favorite thing I learned from him was the definition of bold. I am sure I have heard this before but it was truly an answer to my prayers when he shared this. 

BOLD: Speak with clarity and confidence and LOVE. 

I had like thee biggest a-ha moment and it was such a comfort and strength for me to learn this by the Spirit. As a missionary, I have had the goal to become a bold servant of the Lord. I have felt discouraged time and time again when I start to compare myself to others and then I am humbled and remember I have other strengths and talents that the Lord has blessed me with. But this definition of bold I can do!!!! I can so do that! The Lord has told me many times that the quiet demeanor and manor of my Spirit will touch the hearts of others... so I was always confused on how to be bold. A servant of the Lord (Elder Nash) taught me so much and helped me so much to progress as a missionary and taught me that I truly can be bold.

Last weekend we had a movie night for investigators and members. We watched the Joseph Smith Movie and had yummy refreshments. It turned out so good!! We were able to see many people that we have been working with and it was such a blessing to us and them! The Self's were able to come and are so ready to set a baptismal date. 

Tomorrow I am getting transferred to Topeka. Lake Shawnee to be exact! Sister Call and I are opening an area for Sister Training Leaders, over 12 sisters. Let's just say that I have soooo many mixed emotions!! I freaked out when I found out we would be companions. (She has been one of my best friends on the mish so far. She was in Independence when I was at the Liberty Jail then we both got transferred to Manhattan and have been serving around each other for the past 6 months!!) I feel like we must have been besties in the pre-Earth life as well. I am so stoked to be companions with her and learn more from her! I was not expecting this call, because I thought I would get to finish training my baby sis Murphy!! I do know that the Lord has been preparing me though and I have most likely just been in denial.. ha

These past couple days have been a roller-coaster. Too many goodbyes for my liking. And to people and an area that I LOVE with my whole heart!!! I have felt so beyond inadequate to be a Sister Training Leader. Everyone is so kind and encouraging and telling me what a great job I will do but really I just want to be a normal missionary hah. I have been studying the enabling power of the Atonement a ton and I KNOW that the only way I can overcome many of my fears (like training 40 missionaries this Friday) will be with the strength of the Lord. Sunday evening we were with the zone leaders and they ended up giving many missionaries priesthood blessings for this upcoming transfer. It was the first blessing I have received since I have been out and it was MUCH NEEDED. I am so grateful for worthy men that hold the power of God on the Earth and bless the lives of others. I was also told in it that there are specific souls waiting for ME to find them!!! I can't wait to be led to these brothers and sisters of ours!!!

I know I have shared this scripture like a bijillion times but it is so different when you actually have to apply it :)

2 Timothy 1:7

"For God hath not given us the Spirit of fear, but of POWER and of love and of a sound mind."

I love you all so much! I am sooooo beyond thankful for so much love and support.

Also, Jen and Sarah, you are in my prayers. I love you guys.

Sister Smartt

P.S. R.I.P. the Little Apple... I can't wait to come back and visit this place and all of the people that I have grown to love soooo much these past 6 months